I Loved Who You Were — A Story of Love, Change and Letting Go

I still love the person I met two years ago, but I don’t love the person you’ve become, she ended the call with these words, her eyes brimming with tears ready to flow.

Her heart wasn’t ready to give up on the relationship she had nurtured with so much emotion, effort, and love. Yet her mind knew it was time to stop watering a dead relationship and move on, no matter how hard the coming days would be.

If you ask people about their failed relationships, they might tell you the same thing. They loved the person they met years ago, but they don’t recognize the person they became over time. She always wondered who was the real one: the person she met on day one or the one she left behind?

She never understood what went wrong in their relationship. Everything seemed good. She found her safe space in him, adored him, respected him, and, most importantly, loved him. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but she was willing to take the chance and build something beautiful.

Now, sitting alone in her room, she stared at the phone. She was angry, frustrated, and, most importantly, heartbroken—not because the relationship ended, but because of his response when she told him it was over. For months, she knew this day would come. She thought she had prepared herself for it. You can prepare for heartbreak, but you can never prepare for the pain it brings.

A few weeks ago, she read a story from Manav Kaul’s book, A Bird on a Window Sill. The story echoed in her mind now. When two people are in a relationship and one dies, the one who died is freed from all emotions and pain. But the one who survives must live with the pain and unfulfilled love for life.

Sitting in her room, she felt like the person left behind to live with the pain and heartbreak while he was freed.

Though she knows that years from now she might thank her stars for this heartbreak, for now, she knows the coming days will test her patience, and she fears she may never be able to trust anyone with her heart again.

Life is never fair, and neither is love. You can hold on to your side of the bargain, but you can never be sure of the other person’s commitment.